Terry Howard, z”l, passed away March 31, 2022, at age 94. Terry is survived by sons, Jeffrey Howard (Michele) and Kevin Howard (Deborah Walker); daughter, Robyn Howard; granddaughters, Ella Howard and Rita Howard Michaels (CJ); great-grandchildren, Oliver and Kenzi Michaels; nephews, Joel and Mark Feldman; and niece, Jodi Feldman Gubman. Terry was preceded in death by her husband, Norman (2008), brother, Robert Feldman (2010), and sister-in-law, Dottie Feldman (2022).

Terry (Tova) was born in 1928, in New York City, a year and a half before the great stock market crash. Her parents, Ida and Julius Feldman, immigrants from Minsk, Russia, had only grade-school educations. Ida had arrived as a child with her sister and parents, while Julius seemed to have arrived as a young man. Terry was the first born, her brother Bob arriving four years later. They were a household of seven since they continued to live with the grandparents and their Aunt Sarah. Multigenerational households were not unusual, and certainly not for folks with very limited incomes, but the financial stress of the era must have been significant.

Only recently did the family discover that her father, the only income earner in the family and the owner of a tavern in Patterson, N.J., committed suicide when Terry was 9 years old and her brother 5. No one in the family had ever spoken about this suicide until her son, Kevin, discovered the truth. The newspaper article he found indicated Julius may have experienced depression. Terry said they were never allowed to speak about it since suicide was considered a sin. She said she wasn’t allowed to attend the funeral of her father, and every picture of him had been destroyed by her aunt. Kevin found a man at the Patterson Jewish Home who had been at the cemetery where Julius was buried, and he sent a picture of the gravestone, which caused Terry to cry and remember hard times.

It was this hard life that, no doubt, helped form her personality. After the death of Julius, Grandma Ida took over the tavern, sold it a couple of years later and then moved to Columbus, Ohio, in 1940. There she ran a liquor store business with her loving uncle Abe. Ida continued to be the sole bread winner for her two kids, her sister and her mother, who was blind.

Terry grew up speaking Yiddish to her grandparents, who spoke no English. She grew up in an Orthodox setting until they moved to Ohio. Judaism and education, along with cooking and baking, were the mainstays of her childhood. Terry’s Jewish identity was lifelong. She became a member of the women’s Zionist organization Hadassah starting in her teen years. Mom went on to be the president of Hadassah chapters in Detroit, Florida and finally in Vancouver, Wash. The community of friends she made in each place gave her much joy and purpose, knowing they were helping a cause they were all devoted to. Terry also became the president of the synagogues they belonged to in Detroit and Florida.

Terry and Bob were very bright and hard working. Terry skipped a couple of grades and then finished college, Ohio State University, in three years with a degree in accounting and business. She married Norman Howard four years later in 1952. At the age of 45, Terry received her master’s degree in education. She dedicated herself to educating inner city kids in Detroit, teaching business and office skills at Pershing High School. She used to say it was the most centrally located high school since it was the only one with members from every gang in Detroit. With bars over the windows and armed guards checking back packs at the doors, she remained there undeterred for 25 years. She was very proud of the nice letters she received from students thanking her for helping make them employable.

At the funeral, Kevin shared a few memories of her personality:

My Mom, very unlike my Dad, never told a joke intentionally. At the same time, my Mom said some of the funniest things I can remember. I had first gone to college as a pre-law student. My Mom said, “You know, with the way you write your name, you could be a doctor.” Of course, this ignored the fact that I couldn’t stand the sight of blood, but she was right about my handwriting illegibility. After a couple of years in college I came home to say I was changing my major to packaging engineering, something my parents had never heard of. My Mom asked, “Is that a euphemism for being a bagger at Kroger’s?” I assured her that it was a legit profession. It may have been that same visit when she said “Kevin, you used to have a photographic memory, but I think your film got overexposed at some point.”

My parents loved traveling. As a young family we always took a two-week trip to someplace new every year. Once all the kids had left and they retired, they travelled extensively all over the globe, often with Elder Hostel and on many cruises. They particularly enjoyed the trips with lots of expert speakers and historians.

My wife, Deb, and I moved to Portland area in 1988, and my parents came to visit on a regular basis. My parents were very suburban city oriented. The first time we drove them through the Columbia Gorge, my Mom looked out the car window and asked “Now who’d go all the way up there and plant a tree?”  On another trip here we drove them up to our log cabin on Mt. Adams. The cabin is on 20 acres and as we drove my Dad asked, in his New York accent way, “When the hell will you have time to mow 20 acres?” I said Dad, it’s the coolest thing, it’s called a forest, no mowing necessary. My Mom and Dad were a good pair in their shared misunderstanding of nature.

My parents decided to move to Vancouver in 2005, after spending two summers renting a furnished apartment in Portland. My argument for them to move from their beloved Florida retirement in sunny, warm Clearwater to rainy, cold Portland was that they’d be able to form a relationship with their 7-year-old granddaughter Ella, even if they’d have to put up with me. They bought a house within walking distance of our home and we spent lots of time together. My Mom cooked and baked wonderful foods and loved having people over for grand multicourse meals. She loved sharing Shabbat and High Holiday meals and prayers and I’ll miss those forevermore.

My Mom and Dad were married 56 years, until his passing in 2008. I was always impressed with how they sought out new communities as they moved from place to place, and finding lots of new friends, and feel particularly fortunate that they decided to conclude their lives near us.

I thank my lucky stars for having had parents who wanted the best for their children, who valued education, hard work and being ethical in all you do. No matter what, my parents never left any doubt that I could depend upon them in times of need. I will miss them forever.

Burial was April 4, 2022, at Ahavai Shalom Cemetery, Portland.

Donations in her memory may be made to Hadassah.